who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
