like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize