he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
