He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My pussy is not your playground.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize