all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
