So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
