Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
