How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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