Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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