It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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