I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize