i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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