I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
