How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
