I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize