He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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