I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i drank out of a bidet.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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