That's when you crack a 10am beer
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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