Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
