It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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