My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
