i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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