I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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