is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
