At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
