hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
