I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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