You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
