I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
