Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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