is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We have started to decorate penises.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
