i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize