3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
