Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just found puke in my bra..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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