its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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