roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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