I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
