we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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