Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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