yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
