you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
