ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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