day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize