You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize