So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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