omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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