..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Randomize