whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Is it penis luge time yet?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
