You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
