Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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