Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
