and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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