do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My dick has a subreddit
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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