And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
