how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hello my rib-scented angel!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
