Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
