im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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