I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you would pick up someone in the library
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
