If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
