my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
