Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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